


You're the feeling I'm missing

by CD_MT



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, Some CoIE mention
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-06
Updated: 2019-05-06
Packaged: 2020-02-27 05:25:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,302
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18732493
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CD_MT/pseuds/CD_MT
Summary: Kara didn’t didn’t realize how big of a role Lena played in her life until she wasn't. She may have lied to Lena about her identity, but she will keep her promise until her last breath.





	You're the feeling I'm missing

**Author's Note:**

> I've been crying while thinking about Kara potentially dying in CoLE while Lena is mad at her and then I had some scotch and now here I am.  
> I haven't wrote anything in YEARS so sorry about that.  
> Hope you guys will enjoy nonetheless.

“I’m afraid I can’t let you in without an appointment, Miss Danvers.” It has been the same answer every time Kara tried to see her. It broke her heart, of course. But she couldn’t blame Lena. She should’ve told her long ago, but she was too much of a coward to do so. 

 

Kara knew Lena was important to her, that goes without saying. But she didn’t didn’t realize how big of a role Lena played in her life. 

 

She didn’t realize until she was waiting for her coffee at Noonan’s and saw the fluffiest puppy ever and snapped a picture that was meant to be sent to Lena. 

 

She didn’t realize until she walked past a flower shop that sold plumerias and was about to have them sent for Lena. She did it anyway, anonymously. 

 

She didn’t realize until she was sitting on the top of L-Corp’s building, reading her past text messages with Lena and going through every photos and videos with her.

 

She lost her best friend and it was like she lost a part of herself too.

 

Maybe she should move on, maybe she should just give up and forget Lena.

 

But that just wasn’t Kara. 

 

She promised Lena that she will stand up for her always, she promised Lena that she wasn’t going anywhere, that she would always be her friend and that she would always protect her. And Kara meant every single words. She will continues to stand up for Lena and keep on protecting her in every way she can, even if it means having to do it in the shadows. 

  
  


The only way she would give up on Lena is over her dead body. 

  
  


When Kara had to head back to Earth-One, something in her guts told her that she might not come out alive. She should probably hurry and go because a wave of antimatter energy is about to sweep through the multiverse. But she needed to see Lena.

 

There was no more balcony to Lena’s office, just a huge one-way mirror window with lead. 

 

Kara hovered in front of the window nonetheless. She knew Lena saw her when she heard her heart rate going up a bit. 

 

Staring at her own reflection, Kara wondered if Lena was looking back at her. 

 

“I miss you.” She whispered, placing her hand against the glass. 

 

“I’m sorry.” she continued. 

 

She was scared of what was going to happen. She was  _ terrified _ .  

 

Kara closed her eyes and kept on listening to Lena’s heartbeat.

 

She just needed the feeling of Lena with her. That was enough, she couldn’t see Lena but knowing that she was just behind this piece of glass was enough.

 

She had to go soon.

 

Kara had to protect her earth, she had to protect the multiverse, she had to protect her loved ones. She had to go fight so that everyone can be safe.

 

Breathing out, Kara slowly opened her eyes. She was surprised to see Lena through the window, staring back at her.

 

Kara felt the back of her eyes burn with tears threatening to run down. 

 

Lena was still so beautiful, she had lost a little weight and look tired but she was still so beautiful. 

 

How she wished she could hold her.

 

Kara was never as determined as the present moment. 

 

Giving a light tap with her palm against the glass, Kara gave Lena a small smile and promised her, “I’ll make it up to you. I swear.” Lena probably didn’t hear it but Kara meant it just as much.

 

She opened the portal and disappeared. 

  
  
  
  
  


Kara was trying to catch her breath while cradling her injured arm. She had managed to destroy the armor of the Anti-Monitor but it was far from over yet. Kal was safe, that’s what mattered. She blew out her powers and was too tired and too injured to move.

 

So she just waited for it to end. 

 

“Oh Rao, please protect my loved ones as I am not able to do so.” She closed her eyes as she saw the blast of energy coming her way and she saw the faces of Eliza and Alex flashing, Winn and Cat, Kelly and James, Nia and Brainy, Lois and Clark and she saw Lena. 

 

She saw Lena smiling brightly at her then she saw Lena looking at her through the window, arms crossed, jaw clenched, glaring at her and it hit her.

 

She ended up being a coward until the end. 

 

She was too much of a coward to tell Lena about being Supergirl.

 

Now she was about to die a coward for not telling Lena how much she meant to her, how much she wanted her in her life, how much she wanted to have a life with Lena.

 

How much she loves her.

 

The last feeling she felt before everything turned black was regret.

  
  
  
  
  


But she didn’t die… It wasn’t her time yet, Rao said. 

  
  
  
  
  


When she woke up Alex and Eliza were by her side in the sun room. Not quite touching her because of her wound, but they were crying and kissed her forehead. Thanking the heavens for her survival. 

 

She heard about Oliver and cried.

 

Kara saw J’onn, Brainy, James and Nia next. They told her how strong and courageous she was. 

 

But was she really?

  
  
  
  


It took her three weeks in the sun room for Kara to be fully healed. She did however end up with a burn scar on her sternum.

 

She talked with Alex and told her that Supergirl was going to be out of commission for a little longer and her sister hugged her.

 

As soon as she was cleared to go, the first place on her mind was L-Corp. 

 

“I need to see Lena.” She was a little breathless when she reached Lena’s assistant’s desk. 

 

“Please, I’m begging you. I just need five minutes.” The new assistant bit her lips, looking at her with pity in her eyes and Kara knew she was about to refuse but she was ready to keep begging until security had to escort her out.

 

Thankfully she didn’t have to when a voice came in. 

 

“It’s ok, let her in, I will deal with Miss Luthor.” Jess appeared behind Kara and nodded to Lena’s door office. She didn’t need to repeat herself that Kara was already through the door.

 

Kara was about to call out Lena’s name, expecting her to be on her desk, working but instead Lena was curled up on the white couch across her desk, an empty glass in her hand and staring blankly at the window.

 

“I told you I didn’t want to be interrupted.” Lena’s voice was hoarse, indicating that she has been crying.

 

The sight just broke Kara’s heart.

 

“Lena.” She called out in a low voice and Kara saw Lena’s body froze before slowly turning her head toward the door where Kara was standing.

 

“Kara!” Lena was up and running toward Kara, throwing herself at her with both of her hands tightly gripping the front of Kara’s hoodie. “You’re alive.”

 

Having Lena in her arms felt great, that hollowness she felt was gone and instead she felt warmth again. 

  
  
  
  


It turns out practically every media outlets were talking about “The Disappearance of Supergirl”. Lena thought that she died and was too afraid to talk to any of Kara’s family and friends. She didn’t want people to tell her that Kara was dead so she shut herself out. 

  
  
  
  
  
  


“I missed you.” Lena mumbled against Kara’s neck that night. Her hand pressed on the burnt skin and carefully stroking it and Kara felt whole again. 

 

“I love you.” Kara whispered back. “And I’m going to spend the rest of my life proving that to you if I have to.”

  
  
  
  


“You don’t have to. I trust you.” 


End file.
